I won’t start off with lots of apologies and such I’m just gonna share my journey.
I recently went on vacation to Miami and while there it was almost as if i had an epiphany. I came to realize, that there is only one me. I started to understand that the only true opinion that mattered, is mine. For a long time, I beat myself up about my imperfections.
I look at all these people who “SnapBack” after have a baby 3 days later and here i am, with a baby almost 3 and still pushing 200lbs. Imma keep it all the way real with y’all. I’m not happy with my physical appearance and instead of trying to fix it, i say back, complained and it got worse.
I wouldn’t consider myself “fat” as much as I refer to myself as such. I’m truly a thick girl but with length. My legs are a bit long which helps. So, with the way society is set up (i ignore but some don’t), the way people have no filter and deem it ok to greet you with “girl you got fat” or some bullshit like that i became a shell of myself.
To make matters worse, i have suffered with acne since i was 12/13 years old and at 33, the fight continues. While this is a problem I’ve started to correct, is gonna be a long journey. Then add the fact that I’m hairy, lord the struggles.
Now that you know the back story, here we are. I had a lot of time to think while i was away and i realized with the help of my husband that the goal shouldn’t be perfection. The goal is to be happy. We can take our flaws and embrace but correct them or we can sit around and throw a pity party and make it worse. I’ve never liked my stretch marks but they are a reminder that i carried and breathed life into a human being and ever stripe is worth it.
I have acne but it’s a problem i can fix and with time and effort it will get better. I just sat on this vacation and realized that I’m loved regardless of my flaws. I’m a kind hearted and genuine person. My flaws don’t make, nor will they break me. I’m perfectly imperfect and nothing should alter how i feel about me.
Beauty isn’t skin deep. We all have something. The photo above, shows me with not a stitch of makeup on. Nothing but melanin and sunshine. I can paint my face everyday and it won’t erase the scars that lie beneath the surface. I can embrace the fact that I’m not the epitome of perfection or be happy that I’m blessed regardless and keep living.
I’m choosing happy! I’m choosing to live. I’m choosing me, flaws and all.